Tip 1) Stop caring what other people think. Truthfully.
Because of how cranial & internalized introverts tend to be, they get into a habit of always concerning themselves with the way other people may think or feel about them. Rather than ignore that they are being judged, introverts in some cases take it upon themselves to live up to the expectations of people around them.
This causes stress, anxiety, and tension within the introvert, because they are now trying to accommodate an extrovert method of connecting with the world. It is ok that you are not talkative or super social. It is ok that you are not the life of the party and that you do not want to talk in the elevator. Give yourself permission to just be yourself, and to not care what other individuals think about it. Be natural. When you enable yourself to be natural, others feel natural to be around you.
Tip 2) Say what’s actually on your mind
The problem for me, is when individuals say “So what’s new in your life?”. The only responses I wish to give fall along the lines of life lessons, personal growth, higher understands of my own mind, and other philosophical subjects. But we tend to think that we’ve to say something like “Oh you know, still working….”
Why not just say the way you actually feel, and speak what you’re really thinking? Looking to break an unpleasant silence with a stranger? Ask them about the afterlife, out-of-body experiences, or if they believe in reincarnation. Instead of discussing weather, spark a conversation about lucid dreaming. You will be shocked how many people will respond positively and with interest. You may just have a meaningful conversation.
Do not just play by the rules of social interaction. Be bold.
Tip 3) Adopt a new perspective
Introverts tend to be more concerned with their own ideas & emotions, and less interested in the people in front of them in the real world. Let’s say you are at a social gathering, and somebody wants to begin a conversation with you. Instead of assuming that it’ll just be petty small talk & shallow, think about that may this person picked you out from the crowd because they want to open up to someone.
Maybe they are just like you, and no one else gets them. Maybe they’ve a broken heart & are hiding it, and sensed that you were a person they could trust to have a meaningful conversation with. They’re a soul in a body. It’s a miracle that they’re alive. They are not just a blabbering mouth-piece.
Something I do in some cases when things get unpleasant for me, or when I just want to go be by myself, is pretend the moment I am in is the last moment I’ll ever get to spend on this planet. When you understand that life is impermanent, recognize that you’re talking to a fellow soul that has its own struggles, and live as though this is the last moment you will have, you’ll be instantly infused with compassion & understanding. It creates an open space inside you. Try it, and you’ll see it works like magic when you’re in uncomfortable situations.
Tip 4) Remember. You’re only dreaming
You’re dreaming in the sense that this is all simply one huge play. It is a play happening in your consciousness, and when you die you get up from the dream. If you were in an ordinary dream & you UNDERSTOOD that you were going to get up, would you still feel as uneasy in a room full of people you do not have much in common with? Would you resent going into an elevator with somebody you do not know? This is just a film playing in your consciousness.
Have a good time with it. Lighten up a bit, and stop taking things so seriously.
Introverts, of all people, will be the first to admit that there is always room for improvement. It is always possible to be more centered,more authentic, more in integrity, more understanding, more helpful and compassionate, etc. We tend to get into the habit of thinking that uneasy social situations are our enemies & need to be avoided. Why not treat them as tests for personal growth?
Instead of aborting, why not take it as a challenge to you to step up to the plate & fully be yourself. This does not mean you have to act extroverted at a party to impress, and pretend you’re happy during an interview, or pretend you’re actually fascinated with the weather. However treat the situation as an opportunity to expand your boundaries.
By being true to who you’re, by saying what is actually on your mind, and by zooming out & adopting a deeper perspective on the situation, you aren’t only coping with the uncomfortable situation, you’re also using that situation as a chance to evolve. By doing this, you make the unpleasant situation your friend, not your enemy.
Being an introvert in our society can be difficult, but being afraid to be yourself doesn’t make it any simpler. The next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, try one of these things out. You’ll be amazed at how well they work!